Why Men Need More Close Friends

Here’s why it’s important for adult men to prioritize friendships.

Women of all ages often rely on their female friends for support and companionship, even when they are in a committed relationship with someone else. But men don’t often have those same types of relationships as they get older. Many men find it difficult to maintain or prioritize close friendships as they age, or they rely mostly on their partner as a source of support. But there are many good reasons for men to seek out and nurture meaningful relationships with people other than their partners.

Close friendships help protect our mental and physical health by reducing feelings of loneliness. Research of older adults has shown that loneliness and social isolation are linked to higher risks of heart disease, Alzheimer’s disease, cognitive decline and obesity. Being lonely also increases the risk of anxiety and depression and can even contribute to a weaker immune system. Having someone to turn to, whether to get advice, blow off steam or simply have some fun, can also help reduce stress and increase life satisfaction.

These are all good reasons for men to seek out close friendships. But according to the 2021 American Perspectives survey, only 21 percent of men reported receiving emotional support from a friend during the previous week, compared to 41 percent of women.

Some men feel they don’t need friends when they have a romantic partner, but having only one go-to person can strain a relationship. It’s also important to have multiple people with different perspectives available to talk to and get support.

Tips for Building Friendships

It can be hard to develop new friendships as an adult, but these tips can make it easier to make new friends:

• Find people with similar interests. Consider joining a group or team based on what you like to do. You’re more likely to find people with similar interests and it may be easier to connect with others in this environment.

• Ask questions. As you find people you connect with, ask meaningful questions and listen. This is a way to go beyond the general chit chat, so you get to know someone better. If the person feels uncomfortable answering personal questions, open up and share your own vulnerabilities.

• Spend time together. If you don’t feel comfortable asking a new friend to grab a drink or meal, find other activities where you can still have fun and get to know one another. Go to the gym, watch a ball game or volunteer together.

• Nurture friendships. Being a friend takes work, especially if you’re in the early stages of a friendship. Make time to check in, get together and be there for friends when they need you.

• Aim for quality over quantity. You don’t need a lot of friends. It’s more important to have a few quality people you can count on for emotional support, companionship and connection. 

Bottom line: finding friends and nurturing relationships is good for you! With summer upon us, now might be a good time to reach out and start or re-start a mutually beneficial friendship.